Self-love, care, TLC, time out, you time, peace of mind, all important and necessary things on our mum journey. Things we often brush aside with, “ I’m busy, tired or maybe tomorrow”. Things we often beat ourselves with the selfish stick for even considering, because we are under this love illusion that makes it seem as though we no longer matter and in being secondary to our children, our own care also comes second.
We carry on with the mindset that as long as we take care of them, nobody needs to take care of us. It’s wrong and strong, because we still matter.
Motherhood doesn’t need to strip you of your right to feeling good, beautiful, happy and satisfied. You still can decide you need to breathe for yourself, if only for a moment. You can put on that face mask, you can get your nails done, your best outfit on. You can breathe for you.
I learned the importance of this over the past year of being determined to do everything for my daughter, never complain and put myself on the back burner, until my health became affected. It took this for me to realise that I am indeed her life source but I am also my own and if we aren’t at our best, then neither are they. It doesn’t make you selfish or less of a mother- it enables you to do and be more of one.
When you feel good, so do they.
When you are happy, so are they.
Our children mirror our energy, our sense of happiness or lack of, our moods, our outlook, our entire being. They need us at times to say, “ when you’re in bed tonight mummy will pamper herself, she will take the time to feel better, to try and sleep while she can, to stress less about the laundry for once and focus more on just feeling good”. The laundry, the children, the work, the expectations- it will all be there tomorrow but won’t feel so heavy if you lighten the load within you first.
You exist therefore you matter.
Make self-care a weekly routine, even if it’s just shaving your legs and washing your hair like me, just make an hour a week about you and notice how much more, that weight of the world on your back begins to ease.