This couldn’t be any more relevant than right NOW.
I don’t know if it’s a leap or just my child but the closer she gets to one, the harder she makes it. Between smacking me, throwing tantrums for no reason and the constant whining, there are moments in the day I can’t help but cry.
The thing is, I don’t want sympathy.
I want to highlight that it is HARD at times, we think the newborn stage was hard.. them becoming toddlers is game over!
It always makes it worse when people say ” this is nothing yet”.. well ok but right now it feels bad and I don’t want to think about it getting any worse. The increased anxiety can make it so much harder when people highlight this, I can’t help but fear I’m doing something wrong.
BUT THEN SOMETHING CLICKS….
What am I worrying about?
Why do I feel so worthless?
Why am I anxious when I’ve got this far?
I mentally give myself 2 minutes to actually speak life back into myself because when do we actually remember that we also matter as mums? Never!
Our days are spent doing our duty, giving them our all, loving them, being patient, trying our best and if you’re working like me, then also trying to give your all in that area of your life. It’s so easy to forget that we do need to take care of ourselves too, to love ourselves, be kind to ourselves and not punish ourselves when our little humans turn into demons, albeit temporarily.
I’ve come to realise that being a mum on the bad days, needs me to remember that I matter too and I’m doing my best. To breathe, breathe and breathe again until the moment has passed because it will.
None of the bad moments are forever.
As for being Miss Annie Anxious, I’m still learning but I’m working hard on having a ” it will be what it will be” attitude and just living in the moment. When I feel a wave of fear, absolute panic and despair come over me… I just pause.
I remind myself, it hasn’t even happened yet! Stop, take a breath and be present in this moment. It’s a good way to remember that we are in the here and now, half the things we feel so anxious about, will probably never happen or be as bad as we assume.
Truth is, no matter how good we have it, every mum has bad days. Some of us bad weeks.. but it does get better and it doesn’t define you as a mum. ❤️